The day David Bowie came to Hopeman

I wasn’t there that day but one hot summer afternoon in the mid-80s, David Bowie walked into the Hopeman cafe and ordered a cone. ‘Can I have an ice cream cone,’ he said in a David Bowie voice, for it was him. Whether he asked for a flake or not, I couldn’t tell you. I’m not even sure what flavour he chose. All I know is that David Bowie walked into the Hopeman cafe and ordered a cone. And the girl who served him didn’t realise he was David Bowie. 80s David Bowie. Labyrinth David Bowie. Maybe she thought he was from Forres or something.

So what would David Bowie have been doing in Hopeman? Well, his son Zowie went to Gordonstoun, the posh public school a couple of miles away. My brother played against Zowie in a football match between Hopeman and Gordonstoun. David Bowie spent most of the game shouting from the touchline. ‘Tackle him!’ ‘Shoot, son!’ ‘Man on!’ No, I’m making that up. David Bowie wasn’t at the game.

But he did walk into the Hopeman cafe and order a cone. David Bowie knows his ice cream. And he knows that Miele’s is the best. I’d like to think that after he bought his cone he played the bandit. Or put one of his songs on the jukebox. Or had a game of Pacland. Then had a walk down Harbour Street. And two old wifies came out of the post office and one of them said ‘oh me, that cheel’s affa thin lookin’ and her friend replied ‘it’s thone David Bowie’.

I wish I’d been there the day David Bowie walked into the Hopeman cafe and ordered a cone. But at least I was there a week later when Madonna walked into the Hopeman cafe and asked for a double nougat wafer.